It’s fine to say no, experts say, as long as you make children feel that you’re being as generous as you can. Say, “I would if I could. I’d lasso you the moon if I could, but it’s not realistic,” says child psychiatrist Elizabeth Berger, author of “Raising Children With Character.” Of course, if you’re tooling around in a BMW, you should spring for those $80 Rollerblades your 9-year-old wants. Otherwise, you’re teaching your kids they aren’t worth as much as you are.
If your child still believes in Saint Nick or is too little to grasp the family balance sheet, say, “Santa’s got a budget,” advises Neale Godfrey, author of “Ultimate Kids’ Money Book.” Then visit the store together and help her write a wish list that comes in under budget. Don’t feel guilty: experts say it’s a good way to teach your kids that there are limits in life. Tell kids, “We really would love to get you as much as we can, because you’re a terrific kid,” says child psychiatrist Alvin Rosenfeld. “To say ‘We’re not going to eat for a month so you can have a pony’ is nuts.”
